She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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