what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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