I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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