The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
