I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize