Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize