Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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