We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
