We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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