We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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