I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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