Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
