i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
