"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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