i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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