i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
