Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
