Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
