You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
