i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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