I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize
