You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
