dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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