I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
