Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
