I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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