When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
