I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
