This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
