Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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