I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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