I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
