He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
