there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
