People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
