"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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