I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Do vagina's smell?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
