Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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