Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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