White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
