Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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