I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
