You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
