okay pat passed out under dana's car
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
