Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
