there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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