Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
