We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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