your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
