what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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