I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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