when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
