HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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