North Korea, Best Korea!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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