The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
