Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Randomize
