I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
