McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
