No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
