Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
