Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize