They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She's the barista slut.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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