He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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