my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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