Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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